hehahhahehhhe….

this sign is real and so is my nervous giggle!

wow!  this sign should have been on our front door[s] growing up. have i mentioned that we moved EIGHT times before i was SIX YEARS OLD?  if i haven’t…then there you have it!  and if i have…well this time i think i’m a little bit more in touch with my anger.  did i say anger?  i meant RAGE!

of course my dad had us moving as often as possible.  he was in the military: army, air force and the coast guard [3 of the 5 branches and that’s a whole other blog].  apparently he would put in requests for transfers as often as possible.  i was born in the philippines and then we proceeded to do all of our moving around the globe.  this had mom putting our lives in and out of boxes almost all the time.  how on earth was she going to get a sense of what “normal” was for her two little girls?  EXACTLY!  most likely this was my dad’s M.O., if you will.  he didn’t want her to get a sense of that…otherwise his abuse would be so obvious.

it’s perfect timing that i’m on my way to the HOFFMAN INSTITUTE for their 8 day intensive.  it’s actually my christmas gift from debbie.  it was top on my list.  i heard about HOFFMAN years ago and stored the information.  the time is now.  the reason i’m going?  well, the residual rage around my childhood sexual abuse is toxic not only to me but to everyone around me.  it’s time to really get the remnants of my rage and despair out of my mind, body and spirit!  and from everything i’ve heard HOFFMAN is the place.  also, it’s time to really be with the pain and confusion around being transgender.  are you getting a sense that NOW IS REALLY THE TIME?  IT IS!  AND I’M READY TO DO THE WORK TO KNOW SELF LOVE AND FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION!   here’s to everyone who’s gone before me and helped me understand that healing is possible!

peace + love + laughter + healing,   -kathleen.

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