at the core of each and every one of our souls is a sweet pure essence. i do believe we were all born good. i also believe that the need for love and approval varies from person to person based on what the individual received in their childhoods.
my own need for love, acceptance and approval has traveled all over the spectrum. as i continue to heal my need for others to validate my being changes too. i remember when i first started doing stand up comedy my entire sense of self would be based on how the show went. if the audience loved me i was high as a kite. if the crowd didn’t get me at all i was keenly aware that i’d always kept suicide “on the back burner,” so to speak. crazy much? YES IT WAS.
i’m so grateful that healing is really possible. i used to feel that i was just a lost little toddler wandering around the planet sucking my thumb. no joke. to this day if nothing else soothes me i’ll suck my thumb. true story. end of story. next story. i’ve got a great collection of healing/recovery books. read on…
the following is taken from rokelle lerner’s AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE INNER CHILD:
i give up the need for approval.
today i will give up my excessive need for approval. in the controlling, c0-dependent environment of my childhood home, my safety depended on pleasing my parents. i learned to watch for the smallest signs of disapproval from them to tell me how to behave. as a result, i still feel the presence of a frightened little boy/girl within me drives me to say and do things that will earn favor with others.
i will no longer allow my excessive need for approval to rob me of inner peace. i visualize the frightened five year old inside me bathed in a pool of warm light. i feel his/her fear dissolving in the security of my love for him/her.
a feeling of peace wells up in me as my fear of disapproval melts away. i step forward confidently to face the new day!
how’s that for a good reminder? i love it. here’s to whatever you need to KNOW that you are lovable just the way you are!
peace + love + laughter + healing, -kathleen.