everyone’s screaming…


at the core of each and every one of our souls is a sweet pure essence.  i do believe we were all born good.  i also believe that the need for love and approval varies from person to person based on what the individual received in their childhoods.

my own need for love, acceptance and approval has traveled all over the spectrum.  as i continue to heal my need for others to validate my being changes too.  i remember when i first started doing stand up comedy my entire sense of self would be based on how the show went.  if the audience loved me i was high as a kite.  if the crowd didn’t get me at all i was keenly aware that i’d always kept suicide  “on the back burner,” so to speak.  crazy much?  YES IT WAS.

i’m so grateful that healing is really possible.  i used to feel that i was just a lost little toddler wandering around the planet sucking my thumb.  no joke.  to this day if nothing else soothes me i’ll suck my thumb.  true story.  end of story.  next  story.  i’ve got a great collection of healing/recovery books.  read on…

the following is taken from rokelle lerner’s AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE INNER CHILD:


i give up the need for approval.

today i will give up my excessive need for approval.  in the controlling, c0-dependent environment of my childhood home, my safety depended on pleasing my parents.  i learned to watch for the smallest signs of disapproval from them to tell me how to behave.   as a result, i still feel the presence of a frightened little boy/girl within me drives me to say and do things that will earn favor with others.

i will no longer allow my excessive need for approval to rob me of inner peace.  i visualize the frightened five year old inside me bathed in a pool of warm light.  i feel his/her fear dissolving in the security of my love for him/her.

a feeling of  peace wells up in me as my fear of disapproval melts away.  i step forward confidently to face the new day!

how’s that for a good reminder?  i love it.  here’s to whatever you need to KNOW that you are lovable just the way you are!

peace + love + laughter + healing,   -kathleen.

1 Comment

  1. NJune 30, 2011 at 9:27 pm 

    Kathleen, I really enjoyed this entry. Sure needed the reminder re: approval. Your first paragraph resonated with me, as I have of late been thinking about “human nature.” I was first introduced to the idea of human nature not being “bad” through a reading, I think it was from S. Radhakrishnan, philosopher and a former president of India. It blew my mind!
    One of my beefs with some religions (esp. the main one here in the South) is the idea that people are born innately flawed, “sinful,” or bad. I grew up hearing this all my life. From that flowed the need for approval. I am learning that if I hope to earn or wait for the approval of certain important people in my life I could be waiting a VERY long time: “If only I do xyz, then s/he will say s/he is proud of me.” But it is much easier to cognizant of the possibility of good in ourselves and others when I approach the idea of “human nature” in a positive light.

    Thanks for sharing the affirmation 🙂


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