haven’t blogged in ages…


just kidding.  it IS a good excuse though.  i love babies, don’t get me wrong, but babies are for visiting.  this incarnation has me healing my own inner baby/inner puppy.

here’s what i’ve REALLY done since i last blogged:

i’ve seen my primary therapist, jan boyer, 105 times.

i’ve seen my “spiritual alignment” guy, lee cartwright, 42 times.

i’ve taken the poodles, moe + chloe, to daycare 96 times.

i’ve attended the memorial service for mary swartzberg.

i’ve been to OKC with debbie to visit 97 year old sweet artie jackson.

i’ve taken three series of improv classes here in santa fe with ben taxy.

i’ve had a few, more than two, panic attacks.

i’ve seen my “cranial sacral” guy, jean bergeron, 19 times.

i’ve thought about blogging.

i’ve had upwards of 30 massages from my trainer and dear friend kele mcdaniel.

i’ve worked on my amends letters [it’s a recovery thing].

i’ve had lots of friends from out of town come to visit and want to move here.

i’ve fallen more deeply in love with my sweetheart debbie jo fleischaker!

i’ve been back and forth 92 times with the whole “what’s the next step” if i identify as transgender.

i’ve added more vitamins and supplements to my regimen.

i’ve thought about blogging.

i’ve been sick way too much at almost 6 years clean + sober.

i’ve seen dr. russ canfield with specific “immune system after too much crack cocaine” questions.

i’ve cried tears of gratitude at least 1,000 times.

i’ve healed my singing shame through improv and telling the truth.

i’ve made a few new friends that are “lifetimers”…you know the poem “a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

i’ve accumulated more computer and technology gadgets that confuse me.

i’ve set up tech support frequently.

i’ve had a few breakdowns/breakthroughs where i thought i just might go crazy.

i’ve seen my psychopharmacologist, dr. james smith, 8 times to be exact.

i’ve checked my website almost daily to track when people are watching LEARNING TO STAY online.

i’ve performed in a bunch, more than a bundle, of improv shows.

i’ve thought about blogging.

i’ve given heartgard to our dogs as prescribed.

i’ve given and received TONS of hugs.

i’ve taken an antique leather chair to be repaired.

i’ve felt like a “total man” and a “baby girl” on the same day quite a few times.

i’ve bought a suit and makeup.  i repeat a suit and makeup…it was for the stage.

i’ve thought about blogging.

i’ve reconnected with anna baker who i’ve known since i was 21!  we both live in santa fe and didn’t know it!

i’ve been a huge part of susan mele and her family moving to new mexico and i couldn’t be more excited!

i’ve helped susan unpack and “set up shop” in her new home, but she did most of it herself.  here’s to DIY!

i’ve fallen even more deeply in love with my sweetheart [i’m repeating this on purpose].

i’ve been to NYC to see THE BOOK OF MORMON with said sweetheart.

i’ve celebrated my sister’s 5th year of being clean + sober.

i’ve been to whole foods 306 times and they’ve asked me to NOT come back.

i’ve seen debra doyle,my “soccer mom shaman,” that’s what i call her, 10 times.

i’ve thought about blogging.

i’ve celebrated my 44th birthday and felt younger than ever!

i’ve been to the gynecologist and cried.  no joke here.  here’s to trauma!

i’ve had my yearly mammogram as well.

i’ve had lots of body shame.

i’ve met and made some new dog friends.

i’ve been to anika solari and brandon rose’s wedding on 11:11:11.  the baby girl in the photo is their daughter.

i’ve laughed so hard that all of a sudden i have “six pack abs” for the evening.  they’re gone by morning.

i’ve thought some more about blogging.

i’ve had my mom, sister and niece visit for thanksgiving…to dine with 35 other people at the house.  yum yum.

i’ve healed so much with my mom…she truly is one of my heroes!  i love you mom!

i’ve gotten new prescription glasses.

i’ve been called “UNCLE KATHLEEN” by all of susan’s kids repeatedly and i love it.

i’ve done my first large corporate gig with an improv group and i got to wear a lavalier microphone.

i’ve ridden my new bike a few times…just got it this week from susan.

i’ve taken 26 baths and 3,000 showers…still working on the not feeling dirty thing.  here’s to healing!

i’ve started meeting with stephanie palmer taxy ,my “career therapist.” i know now that i AM a great waiter!

i’ve performed twice in THE LIVING TAROT.

i’ve thought about writing a letter to my dad and it still doesn’t feel safe.

i’ve had 8 facials with the amazing sharon fernandes.

i’ve had to cancel a dinner engagement with VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN due to being sick.

i’ve been informed that we’ll be invited to an intimate dinner with MR. PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA soon.

i’ve co-hosted a WOMEN FOR OBAMA event here at our house.

i’ve picked out committmmentt rings with debbie and i wear mine proudly…smiling HUGE as i write this!

i’ve made our dogs steak for breakfast.

i’ve sent out email invites to an emma hill house concert at susan+jim’s new home in ABQ!

that’s it for now.  more to come sooner than soon…i actually really love this writing dealio!


peace + love + laughter + healing,   -kathleen.


  1. Warren HoughtelingApril 25, 2012 at 2:33 pm 

    I just finished watching LEARNING TO STAY. Blew me away. Completely.

    Thanks for sharing your pain, truth, and healing with all of us.


  2. momJuly 12, 2012 at 4:05 pm 

    I absolutely love this blog!! You are a busy gal/guy!! I have not gone to your blogging site since the last time I was here and I cannot remember when it was!!
    I love you Kathleen—and I am so glad that you love me so much!!

Leave a Reply